One may think that people should be capable of making clear-cut decisions when faced with the temptation of an affair. Are people who have affairs just immature and selfish, or, are affairs of the heart just more complex in reality?Despite the hurt, betrayal and fury that affairs can cause – think back to movies you’ve seen such as Fatal Attraction or Unfaithful – and you’ll see why the reasons for having them are many and various.
Here are some of the most common reasons:
• Dissatisfaction – not happy with the marriage or relationship, lack of happiness, of a sense of fulfilment within the relationship
• A wish to experience sexual variety
• Angerfelt towards the partner, with a need, whether recognised or not, to hurt the partner
• Some say their intention was to make their partner jealous, though it is seldom clear how this would be expected to have any desirable outcome for either of them
• An unwillingness to resist any new opportunity for emotional or sexual involvement. This is sometimes given the profitable but bogus diagnosis of sex addiction, though it is not at all an addictive process or responsive to normal treatments for addictions. Sex addiction is an excuse for not choosing to exercise self-restraint. Throughout life we are faced with tempting opportunities for brief enjoyment at a total cost that makes it foolish to indulge in them.
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